Book Review: The Set-Apart Woman: God's Invitation to Sacred Living

Leslie Ludy and her husband Eric have been popular Christian and homeschool conference speakers for the better part of the last two decades. Last year I had the opportunity to attend via simulcast the Set-Apart Girl Conference held from the Ludy's own ministry center, Ellerslie. The conference was my first encounter with the Ludy's and their teaching and it turned out to be a great experience with lots of challenging and encouraging teaching!

Fast forward to present time and to me getting my hands on my first Ludy book, this one written by Leslie, I suspected from the title, would focus on much the same as the conference had and I was right! "The Set-Apart Woman: God's Invitation to Sacred Living" is your own personal guide to hearing and implementing God's sacred calling on your life.

In these ten chapters Leslie reminds the reader of who God is to us and about His willingness, and indeed power, to transform lives that are wholly His. In today's culture there seems to be a growing disconnect with Christians as to what exactly it means to be a Christian and what a Christian looks like as they go about their daily life. There seems to be a prevalent attitude that says 'I can act this way over here and and do these things- and still go to church twice a week and love God over there'. Its a dangerous mindset that Leslie confronts both head-on and lovingly. Those who would cry 'legalism!' at her call to Spiritual focus in our lives are reminded that part of the issue that the church currently faces in winning the world to Christ is that we have come to resemble the world so much that we have nothing to offer them. Her call to be different is indeed a call to win people, not repel them. "Legalism chokes life, but true set-apartness gives life." (pg.32)

Leslie calls her readers to pursue a deep relationship with God, and pursue it despite our feelings or difficulties that may arise, pursue it until our feelings align themselves with the word of God. She quotes A.W. Tozer who said, "The man who would know God must give time to Him." It is wise advice. She then encourages readers to eliminate the time wasters from our life that keep us from giving God that time He deserves. Everything from the ways we spend entertaining ourselves to the idols we allow in our lives are under fire from the author as she systematically pulls the rug out from any arguments that excuse a divided focus in our lives. Instead she recommends many helpful ways for us to find fulfillment in establishing an eternal focus in our lives.

I admittedly found some of the beginning chapters of this book a bit slow reading but that was really more to do with having already heard much of what Leslie wrote at the conference I attended. If it had been my first time hearing it I think it really would have been a much smoother read for me. When I had reached the two-thirds mark for the book I did lay it aside for several days as I had gotten busy and I was pleasantly surprised to come back to it and find everything from that point on much fresher. Chapters 8 and 9 on 'The Solid Rock" and being "Strong and Courageous" really impacted me deeply, in part, as they connected exactly where I was studying in BSF with the Life of Moses study! The challenge to set aside fear and to put feelings into their place, to live with "strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow" was both very convicting and comforting to me.

In wrapping up Leslie offers her readers one last challenge and that is to turn outward. In a world that is passionate about preaching it's causes and green-lifestyles (or whatever the flavor of the week is) we as Christians are commanded by Christ to be passionate and active as well! I was challenged and delighted by the thought that we are to 'be Christians not humanitarians' and that even as we reach out for the weak and oppressed and become God's hands on earth to the orphans, the neglected, and the abused, we do so to introduce them to the only One who can change them or us, Jesus Christ.

I would wholeheartedly recommend this book to anyone that is looking for a fresh and energizing look at their Christianity, or to any Christian woman who is struggling with who God is and how He fits into her daily life! The chapters are easily read in about half and hour's time and include inspiring quotes at the beginning and thought provoking scriptures and study questions at the end. The end of the book also provided a reading list of Christian discipleship texts and biographies that are sure to continue your reading and growing for a long time to come!

Rating: 5

I received a copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review and opinion of the product.

Book Review: Behind the Shades: Erotica, Intimacy, and the Longings of a Woman's Heart

Today I'm going to be reviewing "Behind the Shades: Erotica, Intimacy, and the Longings of a Woman's Heart" which centers around a Biblical approach to the current hot-topic of the 'Fifty Shades of Grey' series which has become a phenomena among even Christian circles. Content of this post is adult in nature and should be read only by adults. Please, no younger readers!

The Playbook

I've been warming my way up to writing this post for a while now. End of the year reflections, beginning of the year hopes. Plan, un-plan. Think, think again. Write, rewrite. Begin again.

It's difficult sometimes to get all my thoughts out onto the page.

It's a strange process this 'changing years' business and this year it's overwhelmed me more than most. Usually I sit here thinking how nice it will be to have a whole year of tomorrows "with no mistakes in them" and rejoice at the prospect of controlled change (my favorite kind). This last year has felt like a year of crisis mode for me. It begin last Christmas and just rolled from one thing into another until it finally came to a screeching halt as I was knocked off my feet mid-December with one of those horrible bugs that are going around- and suddenly it didn't matter what was left undone or was still scheduled- it all just stopped. The year of crises, the 'tyranny of the urgent', stopped.

I can't tell you how relieving it was.

These last three weeks I have been the laziest of lazy bums and just took time to...breathe...and it's
been wonderful! 'Living the dream' however, doesn't make much progress in real life and kingdom realities and tomorrow my holiday will come to an end. I will awaken from the dream world and have the opportunity to start again. This week as I've been jotting the mental notes on that beginning I've really desired to not just start again but start fresh. There are so many things that I messed up last year, that I failed in, that I feel not ready to let go of and want do-overs on but I don't get to do that. None of us get to do that. None of us get to start over and fix the past- but we do get opportunity to let the old go and make a new future.

We get a New Year.

I've been thinking a lot about what I want this year, about what I want to do and accomplish,  about what I want to do differently- because tomorrow when I rise and shine I want to have a goal plan for the year and how I'm both going to move forward and not look back.

The following is my 'resolutions list'- if we must call it that- or 'my playbook' if you'll indulge me... Perhaps there'll be a few things in here that you find useful to yourself too...

The 2015 Playbook

1. Set Aside Immovable Times for Rest

I can't remember a single time from this last year where I had two days put together to rest. The pace of constantly pushing has left me close to breaking and that is good for nobody- not me, and not those I server either. We all need days to rest. As I've been studying Moses in BSF this fall it's been a  great reminder to me that the  time of rest is just as important as all the rest. Even before the 10 Commandments were set down the people were reminded of and commanded to rest! That is one of God's great gifts to us. For me, I will be planning on taking a day a month to work on 'special projects', and will be planning several vacation weeks to  break up the year and be my pressure relief valve. Oh, and that other rest- the one talked about in the Commandments? That rest is the jumping off point for being able to get proper rest in other days and seasons. That rest is just as high on the list and I will not use that day for catch-up.
I will not use that day for catch-up.
I Will Not Use That Day For Catch-Up.
I. Will. Not. Use. That. Day. For. Catch-Up.

2. Don't Make Promises I Can't Keep

I felt like this last year this was one of my biggest failings. With so much rushing to do and so many people to care for I constantly found myself spilling things out of my mouth that I knew would be difficult- or near impossible to complete in the allotted time. I hated that like no other thing. I would cringe every time that another thing was asked for my attention- good, noble, amazing things- and I heard myself saying 'Yeah! I can do that- just give me a couple of days!' It was horrible. And I won't fall into doing it again. I need to put more of Matthew 5:37 into practice and 'let my yes be yes, and my no be no'! Even if in that moment it seems like the world will end if I don't make an affirmative response! Which leads me right into my next goal...

3. Set Realistic Goals

Me and my mum at a wedding this fall.

There are 168 hours in a week. When you take out the time that you are sleeping, eating, and doing the necessities of life, and you begin breaking down the time we spend doing everything else- the time we are spending dwindles as quickly as a shopaholics bank account. Armed with the knowledge that my time is quickly given and even more quickly wasted I come to the knowledge that I need to set realistic goals for what is going to be accomplished in a day, and in a week. Set them and stick to them. In trying to do more than I really can, trying to push the limits of what can be accomplished if I stay up 'just another hour' I hurt the people around me and I let myself down too.

4. Embrace "The Spoon Theory" to the Fullest

Have you ever heard of "The Spoon Theory"? was one of my most asked questions, I think, of 2014. Once I had been introduced to it by a dear friend who also struggles with chronic pain issues I felt I had unlocked the key to the largest treasure, the largest, brightest, lamp in existence- and I told everyone I could about this way of looking at and explaining to others about dealing with my Rheumatoid Arthritis. You can read all about it at the link above but the thing it gave me was the freedom to say 'yes' to taking care of myself and my health. This year I want to do my best to stay on top of that and continue to do everything life requires of me while knowing that it's ok to say 'I'm having a bad spoon day' and rest or to be greedy over my day's resources so I can say to someone I love 'I saved a spoon for you!' and not feel guilty afterwards!

5. Play Well

In my pursuit of 'breaking up the daily routine' this year I think its important to recognize that playing well is a necessity of life. What would be life after all if  I couldn't take the time to let go and play with my niece's and nephew (nibblings), to enjoy their laughter and craziness and cuddles?  A poor sad life indeed methinks! Also, I have recently found and invested in a really cool 'adult coloring book' that is supposed to be for de-stressing your days! Its filled with beautiful black line drawn illustrations of the flora and fauna of the Scottish countryside and even though I'm just beginning to dig my brightly colored pencils into its marvelous pages I'm really looking forward to creating something beautiful!

So when its time to play I'm going to play well and not cut off the benefits of joy with the thoughts of 'but I should be...' Play is a valuable tool in making joy filled weeks in this year of my life.

6. Work Heartily 

Colossians 3:23 reminds us that all work we do must be done for the Lord and not for men. Work done for ourselves or done simply for others isn't enough, and it isn't right. First focus in my work has to be that this is something God has me in and asks me to do- whether scrubbing dishes (ugh!) or preparing for teaching responsibilities. This year last year I found I was slacking off or doing just enough to get by in some areas but that is not how God wants me to act and I need to be accountable for the time I am working so that I give God my best and not my seconds.

7. Express My Worldview

Looking around at what is happening in the world today is a amazing thing. People are so far from God, so far from knowing anything about Him or about Christian beliefs that it's truly scary. Voices in the world are loud. They are deafening, and they are easily believed when no other viewpoint is offered. As that believing Christian I'm seeing again and again how important it is to speak God's truth into peoples lives. One of the best ways I know personally is to keep writing here on this blog. It is vital that beacons of truth shine into peoples lives, so whether that is through writing current event posts and thoughts on spiritual things- or just in providing objective viewpoints on media through my reviews- I can hold the ground, send the light.

8. Capture Moments

Journaling cards from Project Life

Capture Your 365 is a one-a-day photography challenge that I began last year and by March/April had petered out on! Its a really cool way to be constantly seeing the world around you and to be documenting it so this year I'm giving it another go and have begun already with my best foot forward! In order to keep better track of what I'm shooting and prepare it for a 'special project' I'm going to be sharing my pics with you all year from  this page- I hope you will check it out and leave me comments on what you like! It would be really encouraging to me if you did!! By the time the end of the year rolls around I hope to have it all loaded up into a Project Life scrapbook album and ready for display!


9.  Invest with Abandon

One of the first principals of the Bright Lights ministry is to "Freely give as you have been freely given to." It's something that in the last years of working with the BL materials as I teach that has gotten ingrained deep, and this year I just want to continue living in that pattern and even to do it better. It's really mind bending but really incredibly joy filled to be able to have hands out and heart open to give to the needs of others be they physical or emotional or spiritual. There is an incredible joy that comes with it when you say 'Let me give all'!

10. Speak Love, Show Love, Grow Love

If you have been my friend for any length of time you've probably hung up from one of our conversations hearing "Ok, I love you, bye!" Not all my friends I think, are entirely comfortable with that over-pouring of affection and it makes them squeamish and squrilly to hear me express that, but it is not just something I say at the end of a conversation to fill time or waste breath- it is entirely true.
A number of years ago I came to the recognition of the fact that none of us know when our last moments will be, when our last conversation will happen and so I made the decision that expressing love was something I was going to do without fail. How tragic it would be for me not to say those words when I really feel them and mean them. I know sometimes that I don't always say the right things and that sometimes I say the wrong things entirely when dealing with the messy crazy beautiful in's and out's of friendship but I try my best and I hope my best will be what's remembered in the end.
This year I want to try and go beyond just a 'love ya, bye!" acknowledgement. I really want to put those words into actions and into tangible gifts of time and resources to be able to show the people in my life that God placed us together for His own reasons and I'm immensely grateful that he did!

I just hope ya'll can put up with my squishy affectionate self throughout it! :)

11. Pray- Like My Life Depends on It

Prayer has been a huge element in my life this past year. Time and time again I have been hammered on over the issue of prayer and of my participation in it. Through this one thing I have come to the realization that everything I do hinges on- or should hinge on- prayer- and I am clearly not spending enough time doing it. Whether corporately in church, or BSF leaders meeting, or in Bright Lights; or whether personally for people, groups, and events prayer is the work of the ministry not just a lead up to it or the powdered sugar dusting on the top of 'actual work'. My life, and my work, depends on the reality of prayer in my life- and I need to be practicing it constantly.

12. Teach Wisely

Oh Lord, in this new year may the prayer of my heart be constantly worked out in every situation and may my mouth be led by You and my heart be guided in Your paths so that I may effectively minister to those in my charge, both in Bright Lights and in BSF. When I don't know what to say put the words in my mouth. When I do know what to say put the words in my mouth. Whenever life happens put the words in my mouth.

13. Write Inspired

Some of you may not know this but one of my favorite pastimes is writing. I'm no literary giant or anything but I do like to jot down a story here or there or write up my thoughts on life and the universe on this blog and that is important to me. Whether writing fiction or fact, whether blogging or scrapbook journaling- to not put it down would almost be a crime!
So, I've actually been contemplating doing NaNoWrMo this year. For the uninitiated this is National Novel Writers Month and falls in November. Writers are challenged to complete an entire 50,000 word novel over the course of the month! I've been contemplating, and frankly, lusting after completing this challenge since I learned about it a good 10 to 15 years ago- and I think that this year might just be the year to give it a try!

Who wants to be my writing buddy and cheerleading team??!

14. Read Passionately

Ok, so I write a lot about the books I'm reading. It's my job and I love doing it but sometimes I just wanna do something different. Enter the Bethany House 2015 Reading Challenge! This morning I printed off a copy of this little bingo looking chart and added it to my pin board to keep track of and check off as I complete things like reading "One your best friend recommends", or "Is the beginning of a series", or "Is written by an author you've never heard of". I think it's going to be an exciting year of books! Do you have any suggestions on where I should start??

15. Follow the Money

This one should probably be pretty self explanatory. All too quickly the piper must be paid and this last year has often found me between Peter and Paul, crying over my pennies! This year it is my hope to record faithfully what I'm doing with the resources God provides me with-  and to make a real effort to begin setting aside some savings!

16. Gratefulness is Everything

The last two years I have been endeavoring to complete the Thousand Gifts joy/gratefulness dare and name three things every day that I am grateful for. I think that being grateful is one of the most important things we can do as Christians and that it does indeed change our perspectives on everything we set eye or hand to. One of my favorite quotes says:

"Feeling gratitude but not expressing it is like wrapping a present but not giving it." ~William Arthur Ward

That is what I have felt like these past two years as I come close to, but ultimately fail to record all the pent-up gratitude towards the Lord that He is so rightly due from my lips. Since I'm a person that always does better with a set plan and list to guide me, this year I have printed out the month by month guide to help me focus and think of the things that God is doing and blessing my life with. It's gonna be a cool year!

My Year at a Glance
Including: The Secret Garden coloring book and Prismacolor pencils,
CY365 prompts list, book challenge list, new Joni devotional,
the trusty ole iPad where writing gets done, photo journal and
Project Life cards for the 'special project' scrapbook,
gratefulness dare prompts and cute journal,
daily planner where all the crazy gets organized! 

So did you make it to the end of the list? Wow. It's a really long one- longer than I intended it to be but I assure you that in writing it I am solely preaching to myself. Preach, preach again. Write, re-write. Fail, do again. Repeat. Start fresh. I'm beginning to think that its the only way that we get through to ourselves, the only way God gets through to us. Simply a constant tap tap tap of the chisel and scrape scrape scrape of the grinding, finishing, polishing paper of life. Perhaps this year if I stand still against my measure God will get some work done on me and this time next year I'll be a little more ready to adventure out into the oncoming year, a little more ready for the new future ahead!

So where are you personally and spiritually as we enter 2015? Is there things you're looking back on and shouldn't? Things that you are really looking forward to happening this year? Things that you anticipate God doing in and through you? Drop me a note in the comments- I'd love to hear from you and hear your thoughts!

What's in a Name?: An Open Letter to Moms

Dear Moms,
For a while now I have been wanting to write you something important that's been on my heart. Over the last number of years so many of you that I have grown up under (my friends mom's) or that I have met in various ministries like Bible Study Fellowship or Bright Lights have done something very flattering, and...peculiar...

You have asked me to call you by your first name.

Honestly, the most immediate reaction that is have to this request is "Oh no! Not again!" You see, this request, while I'm sure is meant genuinely and warmly, makes me highly uncomfortable. I have tried in many ways to explain myself and to not offend as I make my refusal but I don't know that I do a really good job of it and usually I'm left feeling rotten because I'm pretty sure I have confused- and offended you.

That's why I'm writing this letter.

I really want to explain myself and to share my reasons behind my refusal.

When I was a little girl my parents were very strict about their kids being respectful of their elders. Showing proper respect was important to them as it was an important element to cultivating and showing esteem for the person and the life that they had accomplished. Whether the person was married or not proper names and titles were always enforced- and woe be to the child who was disrespectful by using a non-sanctioned name! Now, before you go thinking my parents were a bit to harsh I want to share that there is always exceptions to the rules. For example, much of my younger growing up years was spent in a Southern Baptist church where (though there wasn't a lick of The South in 90% of the congregation) the preferred form of address was 'Miss insert-married-lady's-first-name-here'. It may not have been ideal to my parents but it was ok, and it worked. After all, the point of using formal address was upheld.
   
When I was a little older my family were annual attenders at Bible/homeschool conferences where  youth programs ran parallel to the adults. In those programs there were always friendly, young, small group leaders who again used the titles Mr. and Miss to distinguish themselves from the mass of grade school aged kids that they were serving. I loved using those titles- it felt so fancy, and old fashioned, and fun to be able to address someone like that, to show them honor and respect, and to be able to look up to them by using that title! It was sheer delight to me a few years down the road when I was one of those leaders getting called 'Miss Hannah' and having those kids look up to me! It communicated to me with every utterance that I wasn't just anyone but someone who was accountable to God for being a good example.

Just a few years ago as my grandparents were in declining health a new neighbor came into their lives. This middle aged woman thought nothing of addressing my nearly 90 year old grandparents in familiar terms and called my Gram by her first name. What's worse is that she called Gramps (Clifford) Cliffy.... Never in my 25+ years had I ever heard anyone call him that. It shocked my siblings and I, and to say the least, rubbed us the wrong way. Why? Well, in short, because of how incredibly disrespectful it was. If you knew my grandparents you would know of what value their lives were- and were to us.

Shakespeare famously asked if "a rose by any other name would still be as sweet". Scholars I'm sure have spent considerable amounts of time debating that small line and recognizing it for the great question it is. If a rose was called by another name would it be the same or would it loose something of what made it so unique? For me I think the answer is the former and not the latter. The beauty of the rose (or any other fine flower) is not solely in its character, but in the name we give to distinguish it. Anne Shirley bemoaned that surely a beautiful name like Cordelia could make her a better loved more beautiful person but we all know that 'just plain' Anne was a true treasure because her name fit her all on it's own with out her trying to be someone she was not.

So Mom's here is the point. I'm not doing it to be difficult, I'm doing it to be genuine.

When I look at you I see how wonderful you are, the beauty of your years, how much I look up to you, and how much I value you- and I want you to know that.
My best way of communicating that is to recognize you for everything you have become. I don't use Mrs. to remind you of your age, your laugh lines, or your mother-in-law. I do it because you have taken the name of the man who loves you and I am in awe of your representation of Godly marriage before me. (And if I'm being perfectly honest I envy you just a little bit for that.) I do it to show respect to my friends too because nothing is worse then hearing one of your peers informally address your mother without permission and feeling the sting of disbelief at how casually they value and respect the person who means the world to you. I do it for my grandparents because I take note that the age difference between them and 'that woman' is alike to age difference between you and I and I want to honor you.

So Mom's, the next time you consider asking me to call you by your first name would you stop a moment and reconsider? Would you take into account that I look at the world a little old fashionedly? That I mean no offence?
Would you allow me to honor you and our friendship by calling you Missus?

Thanks. It truly means the world to me.

With love,
Hannah

Resolved

Well, it is the first of February and officially one month into the new year (really?!) so I figured it was about time I posted my follow up post on what I decided to resolve for the new year. I never understood why people thought that trying to make yourself change huge things (literally) overnight was a good idea. I am happy to report that my theory on not starting full tilt on January first but easing into it and creating new habits is proving to be true! Over this past month I have periodically checked over the list I was keeping in my little notebook and tried to add in more things and keep myself on track. It's working well and I hope that by the end if the year I'll be able to say that I have something to show for my year and a list to measure some personal growth by. At least I hope so! I'm looking forward to sitting down and looking over things at the end of  the year!

I decided to take inspiration for my list from one I saw on Ree Drummond- Pioneer Woman's blog. (I love that gal!) Here is my list:

Resolutions

• R- Read and Review- My goal in this one is to do one book a month minimum and post a review of it here.
• E- Early to bed-  The thing is- when one gets in a habit- even one that you don't even like- it's hard to break! I always plan on going to bed at a decent hour like 11 PM but last year things got really out of hand and I was doing 2, 3, or 4 AM without blinking! This one is working out better than I hoped.
• S- Swim regularly- This one may take longer to get started then I had hoped. The reason being that the brand new rec center in town is not the old rec center at all. It makes me sad. I have been waiting to go back to swimming until they opened and now that all is said and done the Y is running the place and the fees are obscene. Looking for another place to go now! 
• O- Organize my days of the week- Are you a person that likes knowing what is going to be happening on a given day? Well, I am. Except that I could never get down just what I wanted to do without breaking my plans! But I need that structure or I'm never going to get anything done! Does any one remember in LHOP Ma Ingles having a set day for each thing/chore that needed to be accomplished? That's what I'm aiming for!
• L- Laugh more freely (but not so LOUDLY)- My family gives me conflicting messages. One minute they tell me to lighten up, and "oh, come on- that was funny!" The next they are telling me to shush as my laughter and talking have grown above the acceptable level! They confuse me. And remind me that I need to find a middle ground.   
• U-  Dairy is Unconsumable in the evening (if you don't want to be congested come morning)- I know this sounds like a really odd one, and well, it is. :) (Do you know how hard it is to match an 'U' word with your mental list?) However, since instating it and sticking with it I have been feeling so much better in the sinus department!
• T- Take time to write (both blogging and other)- This one is a bit obvious and hopefully progressing well as I've been able to do more blogging this month with other things that I've been cutting out. Now to just find to time to cover 'other'...
• I- I Can't worry about everyone- I wouldn't call myself a worrier. But sometimes I am. And sometimes, more often than not, I can't help but worrying. The good news is that I don't worry about things, the bad news is that I worry about people. Which I think is probably worse. Somewhere I've got to find the right side of the line between 'acceptable concern about family, friends, and morons of my aquaintance' and 'my give a darn's busted'.  
• O- Others can't tell your story- Scrapbook- I adore scrapbooking! Really, I do! Thing is that I have let other 'life' things get in the way of enjoying and documenting how I do spend my time. It is important to me to leave that record for my descendants, I don't want for them to have to guess about who I was or how important different things were or were not to me.  
• N- News is to be shared- but not my me- Coming to this one really makes me itch. You see it reveals one of my worse traits. ...Hi, my name is Hannah and I'm a blabber. (Hi, Hannah.)  I don't mean to be a big fat blabity-blabber but I love news and I love sharing it, and I love spreading it and before I know it I've ruined someone else's big announcement or spilled the beans on something important. (To clarify, I don't do this in a gossiping or malicious way- I'm just incurably excited!)  A while back I was teaching the BL girls on Humility and was convicted that in this case this problem is rooted in the lack of that quality. So...I'm learning to bite my tongue. Heaven help me!
• S- Study Scripture (outside BSF)- This one is both an easy one and a hard one. I love to study scripture but all to often I find myself ending up echoing Tevia's lament and saying Oh, "If I was a rich man"! This year, though, I want to be 'training' in a different way than just keeping up with my BSF lesson. I want to be going the extra mile and trust that it will prove beneficial at a later date. I have several devotional/study/theology books and I am going to start working to incorporate reading those on a daily basis.

So that's the list. Maybe it's too long or complicated or ...something. But it is what it is- and it is my goals for this year.
What did you end up resolving for the new year? What are your goals and hope-to-change things for 2013?


 

Pennies from Heaven...

Today I received an unexpected blessing.

I learned that a friend from BSF has been praying for me- about something that was completely off my radar!

I arrived early to BSF this morning and decided instead of flitting around to sit up front in the sanctuary while I waited to take up my post as a hostess. After all, I was wearing my new boots and I didn't want to overextend my feet before the morning had even begun! When I did stand and take my place my friend and co-hostess offered a warm welcome and apologized for not noticing me earlier. I explained that I was keeping off my feet because of my new boots and after a quick look to the floor she just about jumped up and down right there and then!
I couldn't imagine why she was more excited about my boots then I was!

As it turns out my friend has been praying for my feet.
In the midst of worry over my own prayer requests that I had been lifting to the Lord moments before, and the pinching of my arches this dear woman explained that she has been lifting me before the Lord asking 'that if it it possible for Hannah to walk normally on this earth, without pain and without her brace' that He would do it for me- 'even if I could just wear a nice pair of shoes'!

I could have cried.

Even as the word 'impossible' raced through my mind I found myself being blanketed with an incredible sense of blessing. And I felt shamed for my doubt. Hadn't I just been sitting and praying believing that God would answer my impossible prayer?  Ah me. Well, that's a subject for another post.

But the blessing, the blessing that my friend gave sticks with me still. I explained that I was only 'playing hooky' and in a few hours I'd be geared back up. This fact did not daunt her. The joy that lept from her at my small/huge victory invaded my heart. It was like a special message for me right from God.  "Even when you've forgot- I know your needs, I am taking care of you!"

As I thought about it today it has also been a reminder to me to be God's intercessory tool. To pray when it is unexpected. To pray impossible things. To pray in secret.

And to someday pass along the blessing...

Imperfection, Hindsight and The Single Girl

I've been in a mood today.

Yes, me, in a mood! Today was just one of those days where I felt like 'Will you people just get out of my way?!-- I have stuff to do--- I have plans and I'm not getting anything done!'

Now, don't look at me like that- you've had a day or two like that too I bet!

But tonight when I sat down to check all my email and news feeds what did I find waiting for me but a post from one of my favorite blogger-author-spiritual thinkers Jasmine Baucham. I eagerly clicked through to her post to see what words of wisdom awaited me this time and...as always...found myself struck, humbled and starting over at square one.

Jasmine's question was a simple one- "What would have happened if you got married at nineteen?" but it stopped me cold in my tracks. So much has happened to me since I was nineteen that if I was married then I think my life would be radically different now.

If I was Married at Nineteen:

• I would have been right on track with my timetable and planning a wedding not planning to go to culinary school (apprenticeship).
• At twenty I wouldn't be learning endurance and graduating with a group of people I still call family.
• At twenty-one I wouldn't be learning patience and helping to take care of my dying father.
• At twenty- two I wouldn't be learning Jesus is the light in your darkest self-dug pit.
• At twenty- three I wouldn't be starting in Bible Study Fellowship (Matthew) and learning Jesus requires of us obedience and understands all our weaknesses and struggles because as a man He experienced all we experience.  
• At twenty- four I wouldn't be available to give my Gran the care she needed after her four-broken-fingers accident and I wouldn't have the opportunity to devote my summer to reading and studying.
• At twenty- five I made big plans- for my life, for my business, for my personal habits but I learned in John (ch.11, again BSF) that just because Jesus delays in answering our requests (demands!) that it doesn't mean He's forgotten about us- it just means He has a bigger and better plan then we can see.
• At twenty-six I wouldn't be writing a letter that set a church on fire and contributed to uprooting people from a cancerous body; I wouldn't be able to 'redeem' my (business) time in the kitchen continuing to voraciously devour audio books and every single Vision Fourm lecture and conference I could get my hands on increasing my knowledge of church history and theology.  
• At twenty seven He wouldn't be teaching me to be humble and that I am to trust Him when I have nothing just as much as I trusted Him when I had (fairly) good health, good finances and good business prospects.

Next month I turn twenty-eight. (Twenty-Eight!) I am well aware, much like Jasmine, that the person I am today has been shaped month-by-month, day-by-day by the events, lessons, teaching and actions that I have experienced. I'm sure that if I had married at nineteen God would have gone about His teaching/sanctification process of me with different events, lessons, teaching and actions, He could have chosen to teach me the things I have learned, to grow me, to mature me in a different way. The daily life of a wife and mother way... In my minds eye I can see the brood of children daily gathered around me. Jam stained faces, piles of phonics books and a smattering of Character Studies flash cards, family dinner prep and mealtime....

However, I didn't marry at nineteen or twenty or twenty-one or twenty-seven- didn't even have the chance too....

What I have gained in this 'waiting time' is more precious though. It's more precious because it was His choice for me. All the things I have learned have been taught at His good pleasure to do so. He chose to teach me! He chose to mould me!

At twenty-seven I'm so much more me now then I ever was at nineteen.

Right now I'm enjoying growing (mostly :) ) and I don't plan on stopping- even if the next year or two brings something different along my path. Right now, with God's grace, I'll keep quoting with Jasmine:

"Keep from me Thy loveliest creature, till I prove Jesus' love infinitely sweeter." ~Charles Wesley, Written during his courtship with Sarah Wesley.

And, while I'm at it, I hope I learn how to have fewer moody days...   

Will you come with me?

Well friends, the post I've been working on all week has been eaten by Blogger.
I'm crushed.
There is really nothing I can do about it but hope that there's been some internal glitch and in a day or two it will pop back up. I hope it will but...well, we'll see...

In it's place I give you next weeks post.

About four years ago I became involved with a wonderful women's Bible study called Bible Study Fellowship. Known fondly as BSF this study was originally begun in 1952 by Audrey Wetherell Johnson. Last summer I read Miss Johnson's biography and she was an amazing woman! As a young woman she felt God calling her to the mission field and and eventually ended up in China. Miss Johnson loved the Chinese people and intended to devote her life to giving them the gospel. During WWII Miss Johnson found herself and her fellow missionaries in a Japanese internment camp. When the war ended and the prisoners were released Miss Johnson planned to resume her work but sometimes our intentions are not God's plans. The Chinese Communists came in and forced out all Christian workers.

After a while Miss Johnson ended up in California. She still wanted to be used of God and planned to find another mission field but God sent one to her instead. A group of women came and asked her if she would teach them the Bible- she agreed on the basis that she wouldn't spoon feed them and they would learn to dig deep into God's Word. That small group grew and grew and became established as Bible Study Fellowship.

BSF has always had a large impact on my life. As a child my mom attended the class and I attended along with her- in the children's program and I loved going. I always told Mom that someday when I grew up I was coming back to BSF.
In 2007 I did just that.
At that time I was not in a good church and was in desperate need of spiritual nourishment. I didn't know where to go or what I was going to do- and then I did. I was going back to BSF.

That decision changed everything for me. Suddenly I was amongst a wonderful group of ladies who all had the same goal- to dig deep into the Word and know God better and I was not just being fed but wanting to find that nourishment myself. That year I learned that passages I'd studied all my life were new and God was speaking to me through them. Whether it was Matthew or The Life of Moses or John or Isaiah God has had something to say to me each year and I've learned so much!

BSF's study methods are four pronged: Personal study, Small group sharing, Large group exposition and Explanatory notes. But if you come to the Intro class (the first week of each month) you'll learn all about that- and more!

My reason in telling you all this, dear friend, is that the time for class to begin again is coming soon and I would like to extend my personal invitation for you to join me. This year we will be studying the book of Acts (or as the old timers tell me: The Life and Letters of Paul). I'm so looking forward to it and would love to have you there with me as well, will you join me? If you are here in the area you won't have to go far- we are blessed to have a class right here in Wadsworth! Click here for the address. If you are one of my further afield friends this link will direct you to finding out if there is a class in your area. (I bet there is!) Here in Wadsworth our first day will be September 14th, class is from 9:15-11:15 AM. If you have any other questions comment and let me know- I am always eager to talk about BSF!

So, my friend, will this be the year that your life changes too? Does God have something specific to say to you this year? Will you open your heart and make time to hear Him?