Happy Planning for a Happy Girl

Well ladies a few days ago I re-posted an article on Facebook that was giving a few short points about why to buy a Happy Planner. It got some interest and I had already been thinking about doing a review of it on the blog here so a few snapshots later here we are! Prepare yourselves for a flood of love for my favorite planner!

Welcome to the Happy Planner!

What is a Happy Planner you say? 

Well the Happy Planner is the relatively new planner (two years old, I think) put out by MAMBI, or if you were a scrapbooker back in the day, you might recognise them more readily as Me & My Big Ideas.  

Front and back of the planner

This is what the front and back of the planner look like. The cover is very sturdy and is laminated. The Happy Planner comes in many different styles and it's a lot of fun to head over to their website and check out each of them. MAMBI has done a great job of letting you get a thorough look through with a short video of each design!

The Happy Planner operates off of the disk-bound binding system. Each sheet of paper that goes into the planner is punched with a notch and easily pops on to the disk ring. At first I was really unsure about how this system would work and was worried that I would be loosing pages or that things wouldn't stay together but that hasn't been the case- every thing has stayed neatly in the binding without any problems- a delightful surprise! Let me tell you why: CUSTOMIZATION! With no 'permanent' binding each page goes in and comes out as you wish it. There are three reasons why this is a good thing.

1. Want to put in a sheet of notepaper or a list to write groceries on in it goes! 
2. Want to take out your pages- to write on them, decorate them, or just move stuff around- you can! And it's not a hassle either. 
3. Goodies. Accessories. Every variety of happiness that you can think of can be added in- but I'll get to that in a minute! :)   

Inside cover and added front folder

When you open the cover This is the inside page where you can add your contact info in case your planner should wander off without you. You will notice also that on the left is a pocket. That is one of our goodies and is an add in. The pockets are very sturdy and come in a multi-pack so you have several designs to choose from and can use multiple pockets if you want. In my planner I have one in the front and one in the back. The pockets are big enough to hold a half sheet of printer paper so I have easily stashed handouts, flyers, and class notes in these guys without a problem!

Monthly laminated-tabbed dividers 

Here's a quick look at the monthly dividers. Each Happy Planner has a different design theme on the inside. The planner I chose last year has a very graphic style topography that I love.  

Getting it Down

Monthly planning layout

Ok now here's where we start getting down to the nitty gritty of the actual planning. At  the end of every month there is this monthly review sheet. Happy planners have two different styles for this page and this is my favorite version. This is where as the month goes on I start prepping for the next month. There is spots for birthday's, goals, and for all the important stuff that I always forget. :) Overall I kinda use this spot for setting all my big vision goals for the month and it gives me a single spot to go to and check when I need to see what my month looks like.

The month view with side notes section

When you flip over into your month you have this great layout of a full month view. The boxes in this are roughly 1 1/2 inch square so you have lots of room to write! There is also a sidebar for notes.

The week view with side notes section

Okay, not here is probably my favorite part of the Happy Planner- BOXES. I love boxes. Usually it's a bad thing to be 'inside the box' but when it comes to planning it is a very good thing! This is what makes my head happy and my mind at rest because this is where clarity and ease of use come in. Each day is divided into morning/afternoon/evening sections so I can section off my day and know even if I don't accomplish certain tasks as certain hours that IT'S OKAY and I just need to do it within the block of time. This vertical style is a mental lifesaver for me. The HP is also now in a horizontal style layout so if you aren't a box girl they've got you covered too!  

NOW, something that you will start to notice here is that there are a lot of colors on that page! 

So I have a confession:

I am a colored pen junkie. 

I like them for a lot of reasons (one of which is that it helps me to like my handwriting) but in this context I like them because I am able to color code. At the beginning of the year I got me a stash of Paper-Mate Flair pens (which don't bleed through the pages) and assigned each area of my life/responsibility/job a different color so I could see different events from each other and to also see where I was spending/not spending my time. 

You may call this super over-organized. I prefer to think I'm super cool. ;)   

Puttin' on the Glitz

My entire 'planner stash'. It all fits into one small cookie tin and one small pen holder. 

As soon as you begin to look up planners online one of the main things that you will encounter is how to decorate your planner. Everybody has a style, and there are an endless list of opinions as to how to decorate. A lot of people choose to cover their boxes in the week view with stickers and/or scrapbooking paper. To be frank, I'm really not into this style as I feel it makes the whole planner unuseable. 

I am not, however, opposed to decoration in moderation! I love using MAMBI's quote sticker packs to add an inspirational note to the beginning of my week layout; or an extra motivational punch to special days! You can also utilize washi tape in doing simple border designs, and blocking off special days or events.

One of my favorite add-ons for the planner are the snap-in tabs. These tabs are a sturdy plastic punched to fit into the rings of the planner and have a strip of adhesive along one side. This means that you can add in anything and everything you want to personalize your planner! In the picture I have attached it to a strip of HP sticky notes so I can keep them close at hand when I need to add a little reminder in somewhere! With these tabs you can add everything from a card with a Bible verse or quote, to a picture, to the ticket stubs from last week's special event with your family. Anything is possible! 

There are a lot of reasons that we buy a planner. 

We want to stay on track and organized with our time, we want to look forward to the future, we want to remember the past and look back on it in pleasure. I have a stack of old planners in my room, basic black, simple, flat, uninteresting, unremarkable. They indeed hold the details of my past days and show the kind of life that I have lived in starkly printed lines. The thing is that my life isn't stark, or routine, or basic. My life is vivid and full of action, color, and design! For me the Happy Planner reflects the creative part of me and how I want to remember both myself and my days. The Happy Planner helps me to grab hold of my days and plan them to the fullest- and that makes me one happy girl! 

Clockwise from top left: Martha Stewart Home Office note pad, HP magnetic bookmarks, homemade bookmark listing how I divide my color coding, weekly inspirational sticker on my weekly view. 

Where to Purchase

• MAMBI's site

• Hobby Lobby or Michael's- make use of that 40% coupon ladies! 

• scrapbook.com 

• Many Sam's and Cosco's are now carrying bundled kits! Check your local store! 

Perspectives On Misbegotten Days and Mercy

Note: These thoughts were journaled about a month ago when I was on a two week work-visit at my Gran's. 

I have to admit that I didn’t have my best day the other day. 

The day had begun with hope and great anticipation as I was expecting to get out and see my mom, my niece, and to be able to finally connect to the internet and send some important messages after more than a week being stuck in the time warp of my Gran’s house.

Hope came crashing down around me in the form of eight inches of snow and a canceled doctor’s appointment.

Crushed doesn’t begin to describe my disappointment.

After a bit I decided I really shouldn’t be crying over something that couldn’t be changed and dug into my morning devotional book. The entry for the day was on “Not Why, But How” and encouraged the reader when suffering- be it horrible disappointments or burdensome illness- to just do the next thing and to ask God for joy in doing what you’re doing, big or small. For me, it really bounced off of a previous entry that talked about weaving the straw of our hardships into the gold of fulfilling his purposes for us.

So I set out on my morning with that perspective and prayer of turning a day I deemed rotten from the start- into something good.

And I promptly fell flat on my face.

Have you ever experienced one of those moments where someone smashes down on one of your buttons hard and unexpectedly- and you lose it?

Yeah, me too.

Well I’ll tell you, as I slammed the door behind me and marched out of the house with my shovel to do my worst to the thing that had ruined my morning I knew I had acted wrongly and would have to apologize. Thing was I didn’t know how to do that and not cause a full-scale meltdown. So, long after I had finished my little path down the walkway and to the mailbox I stood there, a frosty sentry to the garage stewing in my own indecision. I prayed as I stood there and whined and murmured at God about how this was not joy, and this was certainly not gold either! 

It’s a good thing God has a sense of humor and that He doesn’t strike us down with the plagues of Revelation when we are floundering.

It’s a good thing He gives us mercy instead.

His mercy to me that morning was a divine appointment that was far better than the doctor’s appointment that was planned.

His mercy pulled right up to the curb of my Gran’s house, pulled out a shovel, introduced themselves as a neighbor, and offered to help me clear the eight inches of dense-pack white stuff in the driveway. An hour later when Jamie and I had finished we tramped into the house for some fortifying coffee and a slice of fresh baked apple cake and got to start getting to know each other.

Jamie is a mid-twenties girl on her own, not much family to speak of, and only a few friends. She is in a point of her life where she is beginning again in many areas and looking for purpose for her life. She was full of questions for Gran about her Scottish background and our family, and it was nice to share that with her and see her excitement of learning something new as she heard stories I’ve heard a hundred times about how my grandparents came to the states.

As our conversation meandered she began to talk about deeper topics like “The Dash” between our birth and death dates and what we use our lives for, about a program she watched about evolution, and about how she believed her mother’s death was helping her help a friend who recently lost their mother.

And there was my mercy. There was my joy. Hiding under half a foot of snow and ice was my gold.

I had the privilege of witnessing to Jamie that morning. I talked to her about how our lives do have purpose and about our loving Creator. She talked to me about her interest in learning about God and about finding a church to go to. When Jamie left that morning she had my info and my favorite tract to share in her hand, she had my promise to help find a good church.

When Jamie left that morning I had received the blessing and the joy in double measure. I had seen the straw turned to gold.

I had started the day off with not my best of anything and had been given the best of His everything.

I stared off the day missing out on one appointment and was given another in its place of far greater significance, one I would never have had if not for eight inches of snow.

One I never would have had if not for His mercy even when I fall flat on my face. 

Book Review: The Painter's Daughter

Well friends it's been a very long-time-no-see since I've been posting here and I have been missing writing and doing book reviews a great deal! My stack of books for review is topping out at around 18-20 inches tall and growing more daunting every month that a new book arrives in my mailbox so with the beginning of a new year and, well, not a new me but hopefully a better organized me I hope to get back in the swing of posting here regularly- books and recipes and all sorts of the random thoughts that skitter through my brain! :)


The first book I will be reviewing this year is "The Painter's Daughter" by Julie Klassen. I have reviewed several of her books now and have enjoyed them all- I even have a few 'bought for later' titles on by bookshelf waiting for a quiet moment to pick up and enjoy!

In this book we hear the tale of Sophie Dupont who while she is a talented artist in her own right spends her days as her prominent father's assistant, hidden away in the shadows. It's no wonder then that when a dashing charismatic artist comes to study in her sleepy little seaside town that she falls for him quite completely- and then becomes a fallen woman as well. When Wesley runs out on her looking for the next great muse of his heart she has no idea where to turn or what she will do.
Enter Captain Stephen Overtree, sent on a mission to retrieve his older wayward brother and return him to his duties on the family estate. He finds Sophie instead of his brother and learning of the situation he has left her in makes a drastic proposal- a marriage proposal! With little hope of Wesley returning in time to save her from complete ruin she takes her chances with a man she doesn't know and prays all will turn out well!

There is nothing I love more than a good thick book with lots of well written details and phrases, and with plenty of twists and turns- and coming in at a robust 450 plus pages this book  hits the criteria on both counts! After the initial introduction and set up of the plot things quickly deepen and expand and take the reader on a good journey along the way- and through a few hidden passageways as well! I really like both Sophie and Stephen and it was nice to see their relationship develop along the way and even deepen as they are separated as he returns to his military duties. Sophie is kind and gentle and is very content to come and live on the family's estate and find her niche there amongst the family while she anticipates the arrival of her child. Stephen is a scarred war hero who is trying to do his duty to the Lord he loves and the vocation he finds himself in. While he appears thunder and bluster on the outside he is a true and honest man, a devoted and loyal man inside. Together the make a great pair! Their road getting there is not as cut and dry as all that though and as they face bumps, detours, and their own personal demons they both must learn to lean on the Lord for their support.

My one little nit pick in this story is that I felt Sophie had the potential for more growth than she was given. I would have liked to see her not slide quite so easily or naturally into whatever role she was asked to play. At times she seemed too quiet and willing to go along with what anyone asked of her- which I suppose is how she got into the trouble she was in in the first place. It would have been nice to see her growing gradually into the resolve she exhibited in the final chapters.

Overall I really enjoyed this book! It was a very pleasant read over a few days, and late nights, and I was well satisfied with the ending and how all was put right. It's always encouraging to read how God can redeem even our greatest mistakes and regrets and brings us into pleasant places! And if anyone knows where to order me up a Captain Overtree hit the contact button and let me know, I think I have an opening! ;)

Final Rating: 4.5

I have been given a copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review and opinion of the product.

Dear Future Me...

I wonder what it wold be like if I could write a letter to me and send it into the future to arrive on my doorstep handed to me by a mysterious trench-coated courier? I would have my very own Marty McFly or Sally Sparrow moment and stand there a bit dumbfounded for a bit before tentatively accepting it I'm sure! It would probably be scrawled across the front in my messy loopy cursive "Do not open until 2055". Forty years. I would be 71 then.

When I was eight, and fifteen, and twenty-six I had my life all figured out. I knew what  I wanted and how I was going to get it. I knew that I would go to culinary school and open a five star restaurant to rival Charlie Trotter's. I knew I would be driving that cool electric blue Mustang and toting around my younger siblings in style. I knew that I would be married by 23- at the latest- because it would really be more like as soon as I turned twenty that the love of my life waltzed in and carried me away (but I wanted to give God some wiggle room there, in case something went wrong). I knew that I wanted to write and be published, to be able to support myself on that by the time I turned thirty so that I didn't burden other people.

And the list goes on and on....

I'm pretty sure that every one of us has had a list like that at some point in our lives. Actually I'd be lying if I pretended if I wasn't still keeping a running one of sorts in my head, jotting notes on each goal card and shuffling them around like the slots on a racehorse standings marquee. Now that I've turned thirty-one though I've felt myself a bit...blank.

After all, what goals come after thirty? By thirty you're supposed to have an awful lot of things crossed off of that list and most of the new ones that you've written down are likely related to the things you've already accomplished like how many more kids you are going to have, when you will have just enough to put the down payment on your first house, and when you are going to have to trade in the Mustang for an SUV.

But I'm not really in any of those situations.

I've thought a lot about what my life might look like in the next five to ten years and I'm happy enough with most of the scenarios that have played out in my mind. The one thing that really concerns me though is my health. Right now I chase after two beautiful nieces and a nephew and I love it- but it has also taught me that my limitations are far closer to me than I would like them to be. I get tired out too quickly. I can't lift and heft kids too much or my back pays for it later. I can't dance like a fool with a child in arms or I'll flare my hip or my knee and spend weeks grinding my teeth as I climb stairs and bend over. So, I have a good idea of what life will be like for me in many ways the next ten years.

But what about in twenty? Thirty? Forty?

I can only guess.

But I wonder if it will scare me as much then as time passes, as it does now when things are practically standing still in terms of life achievements and the progression of my disease?

Right now my family is rehashing the dead horse of convincing my eighty-six-and-counting Gran, my only living grandparent, to move closer and be a five minute drive away instead of a forty-five minute one. Through that process I have heard several things coming out of my mouth.
First,

"Don't you ever think that you are going to cause me this much grief and trouble when you get to be her age!! You are gonna do as you are told is best for you and that's the end of it!"

And second,

"I swear I am never going to be this hard headed and stubborn and unreasonable!!"  

Ahem.
Well, I hope that those things are equally true when ever I reach that point in my life where the come true but here I am, sitting and contemplating it and wondering what I will be like. I understand how difficult is is to uproot yourself from somewhere you call home and move somewhere you don't necessarily want to be. Like really. Like someday-I-really-need-to-write-a-blog-about-that-cause-it's-important-really. The fear of loosing your health is a fear I understand all to readily as well. At the same time, however, I look at it from this side of my youth (haha) and try to figure out what I would want to hear, would need to hear from myself in case I've gotten horribly stubborn and stopped listening to those around me?

If that time-hopping postman came banging down my door with a letter from my past self I think I would want to hear myself say...

"Wow! You got old! Look at you! You're still fabulous you know that right? Look how beautiful that bobbed silver hair is! I always knew you'd never dye it. Your body got old but you're eyes are still young, still full of feeling and mischief. You got old but you know you've still got miles to go- women in our family live into their ninety's remember! You probably use a cane now but that's cool- really- cause you're still walking! Who'da thought that you would be walking on your own at 71?
Do you have people to care for you? I hope you do. I hope that you have at least a child or two who love you and want to see the best for you. I hope they bring the grand babies over and chat. I hope they do your dishes. I know you hate dishes and if there's a perk to being old I hope its that you don't have to do so much housework!
Where do you live? I hope it's close to them so that you can go over and harass them and so that they can come running when your laid up with your ankle replacement (again) and have no one to run for your mail.
I hope that you let your kids in on how you're feeling and your needs. Then again, you've always worn your heart on your sleeve and never been able to hide your emotions very well so they probably already know. When you are in that position, don't feel guilty or sad, take strength in knowing that they are your right arm and your left and they are there to hold you up. You raised them right remember? They take joy in holding you up and in being your support! They love you and they want their actions to show that. Let them. Let them honor you this way. And hey, I know you got old, and that you planned to be that sassy old grandma but give the kids a break ok? That kind of attitude just hurts people who love you. Don't make it hard for them to love you. Their feelings matter as much as yours do, just remember when it was you in their shoes... So do what you have to and do what you must and do what you and the kids think is best for you to do cause you have life that needs to be lived and there is a good bit of it left. Don't live your life in fear of what comes next.
You got old, your body's much more broken down then it used to be, your hair is a different color, you are wrinkly (hopefully it's cute wrinkles- wrinkles from smiling and laughing and enjoying your life), and you can't do everything that you did before when you were thirty-one. When you were thirty-one and didn't know how good you had it, when you were thirty-one and couldn't imagine what was ahead for you. Maybe you didn't reach all those goals and live the life you had planned- but you know what?

You got old.

And that's pretty cool."

Source: pinterest.com/pin/341851427934879665/

The Playbook

I've been warming my way up to writing this post for a while now. End of the year reflections, beginning of the year hopes. Plan, un-plan. Think, think again. Write, rewrite. Begin again.

It's difficult sometimes to get all my thoughts out onto the page.

It's a strange process this 'changing years' business and this year it's overwhelmed me more than most. Usually I sit here thinking how nice it will be to have a whole year of tomorrows "with no mistakes in them" and rejoice at the prospect of controlled change (my favorite kind). This last year has felt like a year of crisis mode for me. It begin last Christmas and just rolled from one thing into another until it finally came to a screeching halt as I was knocked off my feet mid-December with one of those horrible bugs that are going around- and suddenly it didn't matter what was left undone or was still scheduled- it all just stopped. The year of crises, the 'tyranny of the urgent', stopped.

I can't tell you how relieving it was.

These last three weeks I have been the laziest of lazy bums and just took time to...breathe...and it's
been wonderful! 'Living the dream' however, doesn't make much progress in real life and kingdom realities and tomorrow my holiday will come to an end. I will awaken from the dream world and have the opportunity to start again. This week as I've been jotting the mental notes on that beginning I've really desired to not just start again but start fresh. There are so many things that I messed up last year, that I failed in, that I feel not ready to let go of and want do-overs on but I don't get to do that. None of us get to do that. None of us get to start over and fix the past- but we do get opportunity to let the old go and make a new future.

We get a New Year.

I've been thinking a lot about what I want this year, about what I want to do and accomplish,  about what I want to do differently- because tomorrow when I rise and shine I want to have a goal plan for the year and how I'm both going to move forward and not look back.

The following is my 'resolutions list'- if we must call it that- or 'my playbook' if you'll indulge me... Perhaps there'll be a few things in here that you find useful to yourself too...

The 2015 Playbook

1. Set Aside Immovable Times for Rest

I can't remember a single time from this last year where I had two days put together to rest. The pace of constantly pushing has left me close to breaking and that is good for nobody- not me, and not those I server either. We all need days to rest. As I've been studying Moses in BSF this fall it's been a  great reminder to me that the  time of rest is just as important as all the rest. Even before the 10 Commandments were set down the people were reminded of and commanded to rest! That is one of God's great gifts to us. For me, I will be planning on taking a day a month to work on 'special projects', and will be planning several vacation weeks to  break up the year and be my pressure relief valve. Oh, and that other rest- the one talked about in the Commandments? That rest is the jumping off point for being able to get proper rest in other days and seasons. That rest is just as high on the list and I will not use that day for catch-up.
I will not use that day for catch-up.
I Will Not Use That Day For Catch-Up.
I. Will. Not. Use. That. Day. For. Catch-Up.

2. Don't Make Promises I Can't Keep

I felt like this last year this was one of my biggest failings. With so much rushing to do and so many people to care for I constantly found myself spilling things out of my mouth that I knew would be difficult- or near impossible to complete in the allotted time. I hated that like no other thing. I would cringe every time that another thing was asked for my attention- good, noble, amazing things- and I heard myself saying 'Yeah! I can do that- just give me a couple of days!' It was horrible. And I won't fall into doing it again. I need to put more of Matthew 5:37 into practice and 'let my yes be yes, and my no be no'! Even if in that moment it seems like the world will end if I don't make an affirmative response! Which leads me right into my next goal...

3. Set Realistic Goals

Me and my mum at a wedding this fall.

There are 168 hours in a week. When you take out the time that you are sleeping, eating, and doing the necessities of life, and you begin breaking down the time we spend doing everything else- the time we are spending dwindles as quickly as a shopaholics bank account. Armed with the knowledge that my time is quickly given and even more quickly wasted I come to the knowledge that I need to set realistic goals for what is going to be accomplished in a day, and in a week. Set them and stick to them. In trying to do more than I really can, trying to push the limits of what can be accomplished if I stay up 'just another hour' I hurt the people around me and I let myself down too.

4. Embrace "The Spoon Theory" to the Fullest

Have you ever heard of "The Spoon Theory"? was one of my most asked questions, I think, of 2014. Once I had been introduced to it by a dear friend who also struggles with chronic pain issues I felt I had unlocked the key to the largest treasure, the largest, brightest, lamp in existence- and I told everyone I could about this way of looking at and explaining to others about dealing with my Rheumatoid Arthritis. You can read all about it at the link above but the thing it gave me was the freedom to say 'yes' to taking care of myself and my health. This year I want to do my best to stay on top of that and continue to do everything life requires of me while knowing that it's ok to say 'I'm having a bad spoon day' and rest or to be greedy over my day's resources so I can say to someone I love 'I saved a spoon for you!' and not feel guilty afterwards!

5. Play Well

In my pursuit of 'breaking up the daily routine' this year I think its important to recognize that playing well is a necessity of life. What would be life after all if  I couldn't take the time to let go and play with my niece's and nephew (nibblings), to enjoy their laughter and craziness and cuddles?  A poor sad life indeed methinks! Also, I have recently found and invested in a really cool 'adult coloring book' that is supposed to be for de-stressing your days! Its filled with beautiful black line drawn illustrations of the flora and fauna of the Scottish countryside and even though I'm just beginning to dig my brightly colored pencils into its marvelous pages I'm really looking forward to creating something beautiful!

So when its time to play I'm going to play well and not cut off the benefits of joy with the thoughts of 'but I should be...' Play is a valuable tool in making joy filled weeks in this year of my life.

6. Work Heartily 

Colossians 3:23 reminds us that all work we do must be done for the Lord and not for men. Work done for ourselves or done simply for others isn't enough, and it isn't right. First focus in my work has to be that this is something God has me in and asks me to do- whether scrubbing dishes (ugh!) or preparing for teaching responsibilities. This year last year I found I was slacking off or doing just enough to get by in some areas but that is not how God wants me to act and I need to be accountable for the time I am working so that I give God my best and not my seconds.

7. Express My Worldview

Looking around at what is happening in the world today is a amazing thing. People are so far from God, so far from knowing anything about Him or about Christian beliefs that it's truly scary. Voices in the world are loud. They are deafening, and they are easily believed when no other viewpoint is offered. As that believing Christian I'm seeing again and again how important it is to speak God's truth into peoples lives. One of the best ways I know personally is to keep writing here on this blog. It is vital that beacons of truth shine into peoples lives, so whether that is through writing current event posts and thoughts on spiritual things- or just in providing objective viewpoints on media through my reviews- I can hold the ground, send the light.

8. Capture Moments

Journaling cards from Project Life

Capture Your 365 is a one-a-day photography challenge that I began last year and by March/April had petered out on! Its a really cool way to be constantly seeing the world around you and to be documenting it so this year I'm giving it another go and have begun already with my best foot forward! In order to keep better track of what I'm shooting and prepare it for a 'special project' I'm going to be sharing my pics with you all year from  this page- I hope you will check it out and leave me comments on what you like! It would be really encouraging to me if you did!! By the time the end of the year rolls around I hope to have it all loaded up into a Project Life scrapbook album and ready for display!


9.  Invest with Abandon

One of the first principals of the Bright Lights ministry is to "Freely give as you have been freely given to." It's something that in the last years of working with the BL materials as I teach that has gotten ingrained deep, and this year I just want to continue living in that pattern and even to do it better. It's really mind bending but really incredibly joy filled to be able to have hands out and heart open to give to the needs of others be they physical or emotional or spiritual. There is an incredible joy that comes with it when you say 'Let me give all'!

10. Speak Love, Show Love, Grow Love

If you have been my friend for any length of time you've probably hung up from one of our conversations hearing "Ok, I love you, bye!" Not all my friends I think, are entirely comfortable with that over-pouring of affection and it makes them squeamish and squrilly to hear me express that, but it is not just something I say at the end of a conversation to fill time or waste breath- it is entirely true.
A number of years ago I came to the recognition of the fact that none of us know when our last moments will be, when our last conversation will happen and so I made the decision that expressing love was something I was going to do without fail. How tragic it would be for me not to say those words when I really feel them and mean them. I know sometimes that I don't always say the right things and that sometimes I say the wrong things entirely when dealing with the messy crazy beautiful in's and out's of friendship but I try my best and I hope my best will be what's remembered in the end.
This year I want to try and go beyond just a 'love ya, bye!" acknowledgement. I really want to put those words into actions and into tangible gifts of time and resources to be able to show the people in my life that God placed us together for His own reasons and I'm immensely grateful that he did!

I just hope ya'll can put up with my squishy affectionate self throughout it! :)

11. Pray- Like My Life Depends on It

Prayer has been a huge element in my life this past year. Time and time again I have been hammered on over the issue of prayer and of my participation in it. Through this one thing I have come to the realization that everything I do hinges on- or should hinge on- prayer- and I am clearly not spending enough time doing it. Whether corporately in church, or BSF leaders meeting, or in Bright Lights; or whether personally for people, groups, and events prayer is the work of the ministry not just a lead up to it or the powdered sugar dusting on the top of 'actual work'. My life, and my work, depends on the reality of prayer in my life- and I need to be practicing it constantly.

12. Teach Wisely

Oh Lord, in this new year may the prayer of my heart be constantly worked out in every situation and may my mouth be led by You and my heart be guided in Your paths so that I may effectively minister to those in my charge, both in Bright Lights and in BSF. When I don't know what to say put the words in my mouth. When I do know what to say put the words in my mouth. Whenever life happens put the words in my mouth.

13. Write Inspired

Some of you may not know this but one of my favorite pastimes is writing. I'm no literary giant or anything but I do like to jot down a story here or there or write up my thoughts on life and the universe on this blog and that is important to me. Whether writing fiction or fact, whether blogging or scrapbook journaling- to not put it down would almost be a crime!
So, I've actually been contemplating doing NaNoWrMo this year. For the uninitiated this is National Novel Writers Month and falls in November. Writers are challenged to complete an entire 50,000 word novel over the course of the month! I've been contemplating, and frankly, lusting after completing this challenge since I learned about it a good 10 to 15 years ago- and I think that this year might just be the year to give it a try!

Who wants to be my writing buddy and cheerleading team??!

14. Read Passionately

Ok, so I write a lot about the books I'm reading. It's my job and I love doing it but sometimes I just wanna do something different. Enter the Bethany House 2015 Reading Challenge! This morning I printed off a copy of this little bingo looking chart and added it to my pin board to keep track of and check off as I complete things like reading "One your best friend recommends", or "Is the beginning of a series", or "Is written by an author you've never heard of". I think it's going to be an exciting year of books! Do you have any suggestions on where I should start??

15. Follow the Money

This one should probably be pretty self explanatory. All too quickly the piper must be paid and this last year has often found me between Peter and Paul, crying over my pennies! This year it is my hope to record faithfully what I'm doing with the resources God provides me with-  and to make a real effort to begin setting aside some savings!

16. Gratefulness is Everything

The last two years I have been endeavoring to complete the Thousand Gifts joy/gratefulness dare and name three things every day that I am grateful for. I think that being grateful is one of the most important things we can do as Christians and that it does indeed change our perspectives on everything we set eye or hand to. One of my favorite quotes says:

"Feeling gratitude but not expressing it is like wrapping a present but not giving it." ~William Arthur Ward

That is what I have felt like these past two years as I come close to, but ultimately fail to record all the pent-up gratitude towards the Lord that He is so rightly due from my lips. Since I'm a person that always does better with a set plan and list to guide me, this year I have printed out the month by month guide to help me focus and think of the things that God is doing and blessing my life with. It's gonna be a cool year!

My Year at a Glance
Including: The Secret Garden coloring book and Prismacolor pencils,
CY365 prompts list, book challenge list, new Joni devotional,
the trusty ole iPad where writing gets done, photo journal and
Project Life cards for the 'special project' scrapbook,
gratefulness dare prompts and cute journal,
daily planner where all the crazy gets organized! 

So did you make it to the end of the list? Wow. It's a really long one- longer than I intended it to be but I assure you that in writing it I am solely preaching to myself. Preach, preach again. Write, re-write. Fail, do again. Repeat. Start fresh. I'm beginning to think that its the only way that we get through to ourselves, the only way God gets through to us. Simply a constant tap tap tap of the chisel and scrape scrape scrape of the grinding, finishing, polishing paper of life. Perhaps this year if I stand still against my measure God will get some work done on me and this time next year I'll be a little more ready to adventure out into the oncoming year, a little more ready for the new future ahead!

So where are you personally and spiritually as we enter 2015? Is there things you're looking back on and shouldn't? Things that you are really looking forward to happening this year? Things that you anticipate God doing in and through you? Drop me a note in the comments- I'd love to hear from you and hear your thoughts!

Book Review: Beside Bethesda: 31 Days Toward Deeper Healing

Chronic illness. Chronic pain. Debilitation. Paralysis.

These are hard words. Hard words that no one wants to hear. Words that sometimes we hear anyway when we want to hear words of hope instead.

This book, "Beyond Bethesda" by Joni Earekson Tada is a devotional book of hope. This slim padded volume has 31 daily entries meant to be read over the course of a month and are geared to lead the hurting towards a deep healing from the only one who can truly heal, who can truly understand, Jesus.

Each entry is about 3-4 pages long and can be read in about 5 minutes time. Coupled with prayer and meditation these bite sized pieces of daily bread are perfect for a morning reading! In preparation for this review I was reading several a morning but I really longed to be able to spend some more time and linger as I read through these entries. After a year of chaos in my life, and nearly 21 years on my own journey of chronic pain that is a day by day progression, I can tell you the passing days of pain can numb you, can make you feel that nothing will ever be different than it is now- or will perhaps be worse in the future. That is not the case. Reading Joni's words were- refreshing- and much needed. Joni begins your journey beside the titular pool of healing water- the pool of Bethesda and is a gentle but authoritative guide as she steers the troubled into calmer mental waters.

There were a number of entries that really called out to me throughout the course of the book but one of my favorites has to be Day 9 "The Day's First Battle" which is about connecting with the Lord in prayer before your feet even hit the floor. It was immensely encouraging to me that someone else deals with the same feelings that I do, that same unwillingness when in pain- or stressed, or facing a mountain of work- to even get out of bed. Joni however, reminds her reader that the victory is all Jesus' and that we are not to be defeated before the day begins! In the 'Deeper Thoughts' section following Joni pairs Psalm 142:6-7 with this entry and though I would have never thought to apply those verses to my illness, my disease, I was really struck with how fitting they felt. It reads:

Listen to my cry,for I am in desperate need;
rescue me from those who pursue me,
for they are too strong for me.
Set me free from my prison,
that I may praise your name.
Then the righteous will gather about me
because of your goodness to me.

There were many other entries that I really enjoyed in this book and it would be too long to mention all of them but my other top favorites really deserve a mention! Be sure to look for: Day 8 "As a Thousand Years", Day 16 "Abiding in Christ", Day 21 " Eager Anticipation", Day 22 "The Slowness of God", Day 27 "Weaving Straw into Gold", and Day 28 "Not Why but How".

This book is truly a gem! Though I enjoyed reading it once I really anticipate that as years go by it is going to be one that I pull off my bookshelf time and again! I would highly recommend this book to anyone who is, or who has, suffered with one of those hope-draining diagnosis. I would also encourage you that if you know someone that is going through this pain journey that you don't just recommend this book to them  but go the extra mile to put it in their hands. I have no doubt that they will thank you for it as they too find a deeper healing in Christ.



Rating: 5

I received this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review and opinion of the product.

Missionary Acres Bound

Hello! I'm working on my write up of my Missionary Acres trip and suddenly realized that I could have (and probably should have) posted it here as well! 
So, posting this here now for reference! 

Dear Friends and Family,

     Hello! I wanted to take a minute here to tell you all what I’ll be up to this coming week! As many of you know last year I planned to go on a missions trip to a place in Missouri called Missionary Acres which is a retirement community for missionaries.

29 and counting...

 

So, confession time.

Today is 33 days till my 30th birthday. If you know me at all you will know that I am a birthday
lover! Mine, yours, the dog across the street's- I don't care- I just to love the celebration.  The accomplishment.

This year though, I'm having a difficult time getting past the number that I'm turning. It's a number with a lot of baggage. When I was younger I always wondered at those women that went around calling themselves 'forever 29', I mean what's the big deal? Another year is another year right? Just celebrate the birthday!

This year I'm understanding them a little better.

It's better to stay young because then you can avoid the reality of what your life situations say about you. I think at 30 those situations hit you hard. After all, in your twenties it's ok to still be a little clueless, a little selfish, a little bit alone. When you reach 30 however none of that is ok anymore. You're supposed to have it together. I'm not just talking about the world's perspectives here either, I'm talking about the Christian and homeschooling communities as well. There may be a little leeway for a spinster at 28 and 29 but at thirty? That can only mean one thing.

"Old, alone, done for."

Or worse yet is the label of being 'so strong' and 'so brave' to be facing this path of singleness in life. (But that's another post for another day.) The question that begins to be asked a lot more loudly (and a lot less behind your back) is "What's wrong with her?" I'm going to tell you right now: THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH ME! It's just not my time yet. Some people are good at giving encouragement for your situation but some people really suck at it. They generally mean well but they've never been anywhere close to being in your shoes and they have no clue. So just as an FYI- one of the most hurtful things you can say to a single girl like me begins with the words "When I was your age..."

Don't tell me about how young you were married.

Don't tell me about how you already had 4 kids.

Don't tell me about that fantastic dream trip you took, just because you could.

Don't tell me about the trials of motherhood and how you were managing schooling your eldest while your next child was on the way.

Don't make me feel this big when God's plan for me is different then His plan was for you.

Don't get me wrong, I want to hear about your life and your blessings and your trials and I want to be apart of that- but please, don't 'help' by placing my picture in your frame! Because guess what? Right now his plan for me includes doing many of the things that you are doing. His plan for me includes doing the meal planning and cooking and shopping for my family. His plan for me includes scrubbing toilets and moping floors. His plan for me includes caring for and loving on little ones and it includes planning lessons and mentoring girls and teaching too. His plan for me includes ministry projects and bible study and giving my voice in worship from the choir loft.  

The only thing is that right now it doesn't include is a husband of my own. Children of my own.

And I need that to be ok.

This afternoon I came across this article in my Facebook feed. It's titled "I Needed to Hear That" and I cried as I read it. The author is right, sometimes us single girls need to hear from our friends. Right now as I count down the days to finishing the first third of my life I need to hear some things...

I need to hear that it's ok to be thirty, and unmarried, and childless.

I need to hear it's ok to fail at something without being afraid of your condemnation at my failure.

I need to hear you love me for what I am doing and not for what I could be doing.

I need to hear you support me in the directions that God is leading me in at this moment.

I need to hear that not having a job or a husband or a child doesn't give me less value, and that what I do daily, weekly, and yearly as the time passes is of value.

I need to hear that what I'm doing right now is enough.

I want my birthday to be a happy one this year. I want to celebrate my life and the fact that I have the incredible blessing of gaining another year-  because I know all to well that not everyone gets that opportunity. I want to have joy. I want to look forward to a new year of my life not dread it because of the social commentary it brings.

I want to enjoy being thirty and being where God has placed me! I want to be excited about what His next plans are for me!

I don't want to be "old, alone, and done for".

Is that really too much to ask?

True Confessions of a Conference Leader

Intense is probably the best way to describe the last few weeks months of my life.

For better or worse- lots of things are changing in my life and lots of events have been occurring. For instance:

• My dear little sister is expecting her first child and I'm going to be an auntie again! 
• I almost took a mission trip.
• The friend I've partnered with for the past two years in Bright Lights is getting married and I've taken over leadership in that group as she moves away.
• For the first time in my life I'm searching for a 'real' job, one that brings in some real dough for the family.
• I planned a bridal shower and organized group gifts for my BL friend, Dani, in just a month's time.
• And, I took a trip and worked with the traveling team from Bright Lights headquarters!

That last thing is what I want to share with you now. I know my whole (BL) group, and many friends, were praying for me and for the Bright Lights Conferences and so I wanted to run through the five days that I spent in Pataskala.

The beginning of August had three big things on my calendar: Our regular BL meeting which was gong to be my first full time teaching day, Dani's shower that same day (!), and then the next morning leaving for the Conference! It was quite the busy, stressful week!

Before the trip even got going though it was on rocky ground! I had originally planned to be traveling and working along side Dani, the expert Bright Lights traveling team member! :) However, Dani had been a bit tied up with wedding plans and wasn't able to make the trip! So there was the need to make other plans. :) Additionally, I'm not the kind of person to be too keen on experiences that put me outside of my comfort zone! So I took the only sensible approach and put the whole thing out of my mind until the Friday morning of the trip when I began to pack for fear I'd call the whole thing off! :)  

Friday, I had a lovely trip to Pataskala with three of the four Thompsen ladies of Daughters of Decision! These wonderful sisters in Christ are also fellow BL leaders in the area and have been a great source of inspiration and encouragement for me.

 

We got to the host church mid afternoon and were welcomed by several of the girls from the team. For the five days we were teaching I would be staying alongside the group at the church- another new experience for me! (I've never slept...erm...I've never spent the night in a church before! :D) I quickly got to snag myself a spot to make camp for the weekend in the large youth room the girls were sharing and continued to meet new people most of which when I met them went "Oh, you're Dani's Hannah!" Even at the leader's cool-down meeting that night Sarah Mally (the BL head cheese) asked the group during her announcements "Has everybody met Dani's Hannah?" It seemed that a girl's reputation proceeded her.....!


Sarah teaching...

Sarah's sister Grace leading the singing...

Jumping right into the Conference I discovered I had been paired with a girl named Nickie and we would be working with a group of 16-17 year old girls for the Radiant Purity sessions that night and the next day. The girls were great! I was a little surprised at how intent they were and how obviously they were there for answers! I hope they were able to get some as we worked with them.

One of the best parts of the conferences are the skits the team uses to drive home the principles.

On Saturday afternoon as Sarah talked about waiting for God's choice in your life a familiar face popped up!

On Sunday our group was treated to a really special dinner prepared by a lady from the church. Everything was set out in high style and the plates that were set down before us were a real treat! 
They included a Cornish Game Hen, a foil swan wrapped baked potato, salad & rolls, a yummy cherry cream dessert, and raspberry iced tea! It was fantastic- and so was the lady, Miss Judy, who prepared it!

 

 

Later that afternoon the whole Bright Lights group was shipped out to a nearby park for 'relaxation'. For myself, I'm used to a nice quiet Sunday and being able to take a nap and do restful things like reading and movie watching. I'm not really up for sports and wasn't interested in conversation so I found a nice shady tree and parked myself under it for the rest of the afternoon/evening. I started a new book on my Kindle app (for my iPad) and indulged in my own brand of relaxation while everyone else tired themselves out playing ultimate Frisbee. :)

Monday morning brought a late start and some great leaders training led by the stalwart Bekah. I was thrilled to be pared with my friend Melanie and that we would be leading a group of 10-11 year old girls!  I took lead on the group this time around and we had a great afternoon of planning out the time we would have with our young charges. :) Here is a few photos of our little band:

 

Melanie!

The 'Candles' small group making prayer journals!

Nickie and Bekah

I was so thankful that Melanie (who has taught at conferences before) had planned ahead and brought little cards for each girl telling her how much we loved having her in our group and how to contact us if she wanted to! With most of the work done I just had to write in my own info and sign it! I'm really glad that especially with this (age) group of girls that I was able to make that contact with them, I have fond remembrances of getting notes from leaders of similar bible conferences that my family attended when I was that age- and it was the highlight of my week! I really looked up to those girls, they made me feel special and I hope that I will hear from some of the BL conference girls too!

It truly amazing that while time can drag on in your down moments that once you hit the beginning of a conference that period of time can wiz by! Once you have caught the momentum of the wave you are carried along through to the finish like riding on air! Before I knew it the conference was done and it was time to head home!

Sarah doing a 'chalk talk' presentation...

My experience at the Bright Lights Conferences is one that I will not soon forget. It was by turns exhilarating and overwhelming. I love teaching, the more I do it I find the more I love it! Call it the big sister in me but I love standing in front of a group of people, engaging their attention, and communicating a truth. It's a feeling of terror, and excitement, and pleasure all at the same time and locking eyes with another soul and seeing that you are inside their head is one of the best feelings I've ever experienced! I love knowing that expositing truth brings about a mental turning point and readjustment.
On the other hand, there can be downsides to putting yourself out there like that. A teacher has great responsibility and the knowledge that they must expend effort in knowing and in living the truth that they teach. What's perhaps larger in some ways is that to make the most impact on a person you teach you must be willing to pour yourself into that other person. Discipleship isn't for sissies. At one point in one of our lessons I used a reference from Paul (I think in Romans but I can't find it again tonight) where he is talking about being poured out like a drink offering on the alter of sacrifice to God. It struck me in that moment that during the conference that is exactly what I had been experiencing. That final afternoon I was drained. Now, yes, there was that wave I was riding- one of momentum- of going whether or not by choice- and being swept through the time. But under that there was an undercurrent of bone weary, mental, and Spiritual exhaustion. The teaching was hard work, yes, but all the 'new' and 'uncomfortable' was worse. It was a rough couple of days for me because it seems that I teetered on the edge of being a known and unknown person to the group I was working with. Have you ever been in that position? To be just familiar enough to someone that they feel beyond small talk with you, but not familiar enough to you that you want to delve deeper with them? That is where I found myself. Multiplied by 15+ people... So I spent a lot of time answering a lot of questions...

Going to the Bright Lights Conferences were a real experience. An experience where it was good to learn as well as to teach. And isn't it just like God to put us in those positions? We go for one thing- and as great as that turns out to be- we're there for something else too...

• Over those 5 days I learned what it was like to be the younger sibling. (You know, the one kid who has a phenomenally awesome older sibling that everyone loves?) I took away a greater sensitivity to my younger brothers and sister, and to those I serve where I'm dealing with ministering to both the older and younger from a family. Everyone deserves to be judged on their own merit and first hand character.
• I learned that God hears my fears...and complaints, and chooses to give me blessings anyway. (I think He likes to hear "You were right" from our lips :)) I took away that my plan is smaller than His plans and my trust is sometimes very small indeed... 
• I learned that laughter, and warmth, and common interest, and kindred spirits can be found in the most unexpected places! 

So that about wraps it up! For everyone who wanted to hear about my trip I hope you enjoyed hearing a bit of the behind-the-scenes of what a conference is like for a (or at least this) leader! Leave me a comment if I've forgotten anything!

Also, thought I know the next couple of weeks are going to be busy for me (starting BSF again!! woohoo!) I have several posts on my mind and several new 'blogger' books in my stack so be sure to check back with me soon for those reviews! :)