Book Review: Behind the Shades: Erotica, Intimacy, and the Longings of a Woman's Heart

Today I'm going to be reviewing "Behind the Shades: Erotica, Intimacy, and the Longings of a Woman's Heart" which centers around a Biblical approach to the current hot-topic of the 'Fifty Shades of Grey' series which has become a phenomena among even Christian circles. Content of this post is adult in nature and should be read only by adults. Please, no younger readers!




Sometime back in January a friend of mine began posting about a book that she was going to be helping to promote called "Behind the Shades". This book promised an honest look at some serious topics regarding Christians and the "Fifty Shades of Grey" books that have become so widely read everywhere. I looked into it and instantly knew that I had to review it here! I would like to thank Mrs. H for generously arranging an e-copy for me and giving me that chance!

It's honestly been been weeks since I finished reading "Behind the Shades" and I've really struggled with how to write up my review of this book. How does one explain to a group of fellow sisters in Christ the gravity and importance of something like this? How do you show someone their counterfeit thinking and get them to trade it for genuine? And how do you do that all very sensitively, lovingly, and concisely?

Well for starters I'm gonna say go read this book! The authors, well known woman's speaker Dannah Gresh and her Christian psychologist friend Dr. Juli Slattery do a much better job of saying it than I ever will and it only took me a few hours to read it from front to back!

Writing from the perspective that God created us to be both Spiritual and sexual and that we cannot divide the two without causing imbalance in our lives and our relationships Gresh and Slattery ping pong their viewpoints back and forth and help the reader to ground their Spiritual-relational longings in Biblical truth.

This last year I have been involved with a Bible study on the life of Moses. How often I have shook my head and wondered at the Israelite's and their grumbling over what they didn't have and stubborn desire to return to the land of their bondage because they are not happy with what God has already provided them with! This book reminds the reader of much the same thing- God has provided something beautiful for us within the boundaries of a holy marriage union yet somehow the pleasures of the world have looked more tempting and have have sucked us in and sold us a bill of lies regarding what is okay to read or view as Christians. The media we consume is not neutral. How can we as one freed from our enslavement to sin play with, or so willingly return to a life of bondage, to the things the world finds pleasure in?

We dear sisters, are free in Christ Jesus! That redeeming, sacrificial type of love is what is crucial and central to intimate expression in a healthy marriage. It is what we should be striving for! The author's cite Proverbs 6:27-28 which stands out starkly in a world painted shades of grey when it asks "Can a man scoop fire into his lap without His clothes being burned? Or can a man walk on hot coals without his feet being scorched?" The answer of course is no. We as Christians cannot fall prey to trashy novels- be they 'Fifty Shades' or other 'tamer' bodice rippers that offer to fulfill our 'needs' and 'desires' without acting out this verse in real life, real time. Media like this always burns and always scars. We must choose something better for ourselves, and for our current or future relationships!

This book is important for every Christian woman to read for two reasons. First, it does indeed pull back the shade on topics considered too scandalous to mention in the church much less teach about- that of Godly sexuality. Second, it helps the reader- married and unmarried- to put that God given sexuality into proper perspective and within proper boundaries. Using the analogy of Nehemiah's rebuilding of the walls of Jerusalem the authors encourage the reader to set themselves apart from those around them, and to use those walls against attack and plunder from evil forces.

I found the authors identification of the 5 reasons why women gravitate towards this type of media to be thorough and honest. We are all looking for 'the one' and to some degree expect he will satisfy in these areas (among them a desire to be cherished, and protected) but the authors point out that what erotica so strategically does is to exploit what is good and twist it into something ugly. What this book so successfully does is to remind the reader, married or single, that all must be holy before God and we daily battle Satan for even our own hearts and minds. It reminds us we cannot afford to allow any counterfeits into our lives when it comes to such an important topic.

In anticipating writing this review I expected to rant a great deal about all the things wrong with the "Fifty Shades" books themselves, and I'm sure given half the chance in a personal conversation you might hear me spout off about that! :) But as I read "Pulling Back the Shades" I was really struck with how much more there was to the topic than just unforgivably bad writing and multiple forms of abusive behavior. "Pulling Back the Shades" leads woman to examine 'what we have allowed God's Word, the source of truth and comfort, to be replaced with in our lives'. However painful that first step of being led from darkness into light is- you will find it is worth it when you read this book.

To sum up my final thoughts I would say that Christian woman should read this book. This book contains solid Biblical teaching, but you should be aware that it also contains sexually explicit (though not graphic) content, and discussions that make it appropriate for mature adults only. This is not a book to hand your teen! This is a book to get yourself- married or single- right before God.

And that's what all good teaching books should do.

Rating: 4.5