The Playbook

I've been warming my way up to writing this post for a while now. End of the year reflections, beginning of the year hopes. Plan, un-plan. Think, think again. Write, rewrite. Begin again.

It's difficult sometimes to get all my thoughts out onto the page.

It's a strange process this 'changing years' business and this year it's overwhelmed me more than most. Usually I sit here thinking how nice it will be to have a whole year of tomorrows "with no mistakes in them" and rejoice at the prospect of controlled change (my favorite kind). This last year has felt like a year of crisis mode for me. It begin last Christmas and just rolled from one thing into another until it finally came to a screeching halt as I was knocked off my feet mid-December with one of those horrible bugs that are going around- and suddenly it didn't matter what was left undone or was still scheduled- it all just stopped. The year of crises, the 'tyranny of the urgent', stopped.

I can't tell you how relieving it was.

These last three weeks I have been the laziest of lazy bums and just took time to...breathe...and it's
been wonderful! 'Living the dream' however, doesn't make much progress in real life and kingdom realities and tomorrow my holiday will come to an end. I will awaken from the dream world and have the opportunity to start again. This week as I've been jotting the mental notes on that beginning I've really desired to not just start again but start fresh. There are so many things that I messed up last year, that I failed in, that I feel not ready to let go of and want do-overs on but I don't get to do that. None of us get to do that. None of us get to start over and fix the past- but we do get opportunity to let the old go and make a new future.

We get a New Year.

I've been thinking a lot about what I want this year, about what I want to do and accomplish,  about what I want to do differently- because tomorrow when I rise and shine I want to have a goal plan for the year and how I'm both going to move forward and not look back.

The following is my 'resolutions list'- if we must call it that- or 'my playbook' if you'll indulge me... Perhaps there'll be a few things in here that you find useful to yourself too...

The 2015 Playbook

1. Set Aside Immovable Times for Rest

I can't remember a single time from this last year where I had two days put together to rest. The pace of constantly pushing has left me close to breaking and that is good for nobody- not me, and not those I server either. We all need days to rest. As I've been studying Moses in BSF this fall it's been a  great reminder to me that the  time of rest is just as important as all the rest. Even before the 10 Commandments were set down the people were reminded of and commanded to rest! That is one of God's great gifts to us. For me, I will be planning on taking a day a month to work on 'special projects', and will be planning several vacation weeks to  break up the year and be my pressure relief valve. Oh, and that other rest- the one talked about in the Commandments? That rest is the jumping off point for being able to get proper rest in other days and seasons. That rest is just as high on the list and I will not use that day for catch-up.
I will not use that day for catch-up.
I Will Not Use That Day For Catch-Up.
I. Will. Not. Use. That. Day. For. Catch-Up.

2. Don't Make Promises I Can't Keep

I felt like this last year this was one of my biggest failings. With so much rushing to do and so many people to care for I constantly found myself spilling things out of my mouth that I knew would be difficult- or near impossible to complete in the allotted time. I hated that like no other thing. I would cringe every time that another thing was asked for my attention- good, noble, amazing things- and I heard myself saying 'Yeah! I can do that- just give me a couple of days!' It was horrible. And I won't fall into doing it again. I need to put more of Matthew 5:37 into practice and 'let my yes be yes, and my no be no'! Even if in that moment it seems like the world will end if I don't make an affirmative response! Which leads me right into my next goal...

3. Set Realistic Goals

Me and my mum at a wedding this fall.

There are 168 hours in a week. When you take out the time that you are sleeping, eating, and doing the necessities of life, and you begin breaking down the time we spend doing everything else- the time we are spending dwindles as quickly as a shopaholics bank account. Armed with the knowledge that my time is quickly given and even more quickly wasted I come to the knowledge that I need to set realistic goals for what is going to be accomplished in a day, and in a week. Set them and stick to them. In trying to do more than I really can, trying to push the limits of what can be accomplished if I stay up 'just another hour' I hurt the people around me and I let myself down too.

4. Embrace "The Spoon Theory" to the Fullest

Have you ever heard of "The Spoon Theory"? was one of my most asked questions, I think, of 2014. Once I had been introduced to it by a dear friend who also struggles with chronic pain issues I felt I had unlocked the key to the largest treasure, the largest, brightest, lamp in existence- and I told everyone I could about this way of looking at and explaining to others about dealing with my Rheumatoid Arthritis. You can read all about it at the link above but the thing it gave me was the freedom to say 'yes' to taking care of myself and my health. This year I want to do my best to stay on top of that and continue to do everything life requires of me while knowing that it's ok to say 'I'm having a bad spoon day' and rest or to be greedy over my day's resources so I can say to someone I love 'I saved a spoon for you!' and not feel guilty afterwards!

5. Play Well

In my pursuit of 'breaking up the daily routine' this year I think its important to recognize that playing well is a necessity of life. What would be life after all if  I couldn't take the time to let go and play with my niece's and nephew (nibblings), to enjoy their laughter and craziness and cuddles?  A poor sad life indeed methinks! Also, I have recently found and invested in a really cool 'adult coloring book' that is supposed to be for de-stressing your days! Its filled with beautiful black line drawn illustrations of the flora and fauna of the Scottish countryside and even though I'm just beginning to dig my brightly colored pencils into its marvelous pages I'm really looking forward to creating something beautiful!

So when its time to play I'm going to play well and not cut off the benefits of joy with the thoughts of 'but I should be...' Play is a valuable tool in making joy filled weeks in this year of my life.

6. Work Heartily 

Colossians 3:23 reminds us that all work we do must be done for the Lord and not for men. Work done for ourselves or done simply for others isn't enough, and it isn't right. First focus in my work has to be that this is something God has me in and asks me to do- whether scrubbing dishes (ugh!) or preparing for teaching responsibilities. This year last year I found I was slacking off or doing just enough to get by in some areas but that is not how God wants me to act and I need to be accountable for the time I am working so that I give God my best and not my seconds.

7. Express My Worldview

Looking around at what is happening in the world today is a amazing thing. People are so far from God, so far from knowing anything about Him or about Christian beliefs that it's truly scary. Voices in the world are loud. They are deafening, and they are easily believed when no other viewpoint is offered. As that believing Christian I'm seeing again and again how important it is to speak God's truth into peoples lives. One of the best ways I know personally is to keep writing here on this blog. It is vital that beacons of truth shine into peoples lives, so whether that is through writing current event posts and thoughts on spiritual things- or just in providing objective viewpoints on media through my reviews- I can hold the ground, send the light.

8. Capture Moments

Journaling cards from Project Life

Capture Your 365 is a one-a-day photography challenge that I began last year and by March/April had petered out on! Its a really cool way to be constantly seeing the world around you and to be documenting it so this year I'm giving it another go and have begun already with my best foot forward! In order to keep better track of what I'm shooting and prepare it for a 'special project' I'm going to be sharing my pics with you all year from  this page- I hope you will check it out and leave me comments on what you like! It would be really encouraging to me if you did!! By the time the end of the year rolls around I hope to have it all loaded up into a Project Life scrapbook album and ready for display!


9.  Invest with Abandon

One of the first principals of the Bright Lights ministry is to "Freely give as you have been freely given to." It's something that in the last years of working with the BL materials as I teach that has gotten ingrained deep, and this year I just want to continue living in that pattern and even to do it better. It's really mind bending but really incredibly joy filled to be able to have hands out and heart open to give to the needs of others be they physical or emotional or spiritual. There is an incredible joy that comes with it when you say 'Let me give all'!

10. Speak Love, Show Love, Grow Love

If you have been my friend for any length of time you've probably hung up from one of our conversations hearing "Ok, I love you, bye!" Not all my friends I think, are entirely comfortable with that over-pouring of affection and it makes them squeamish and squrilly to hear me express that, but it is not just something I say at the end of a conversation to fill time or waste breath- it is entirely true.
A number of years ago I came to the recognition of the fact that none of us know when our last moments will be, when our last conversation will happen and so I made the decision that expressing love was something I was going to do without fail. How tragic it would be for me not to say those words when I really feel them and mean them. I know sometimes that I don't always say the right things and that sometimes I say the wrong things entirely when dealing with the messy crazy beautiful in's and out's of friendship but I try my best and I hope my best will be what's remembered in the end.
This year I want to try and go beyond just a 'love ya, bye!" acknowledgement. I really want to put those words into actions and into tangible gifts of time and resources to be able to show the people in my life that God placed us together for His own reasons and I'm immensely grateful that he did!

I just hope ya'll can put up with my squishy affectionate self throughout it! :)

11. Pray- Like My Life Depends on It

Prayer has been a huge element in my life this past year. Time and time again I have been hammered on over the issue of prayer and of my participation in it. Through this one thing I have come to the realization that everything I do hinges on- or should hinge on- prayer- and I am clearly not spending enough time doing it. Whether corporately in church, or BSF leaders meeting, or in Bright Lights; or whether personally for people, groups, and events prayer is the work of the ministry not just a lead up to it or the powdered sugar dusting on the top of 'actual work'. My life, and my work, depends on the reality of prayer in my life- and I need to be practicing it constantly.

12. Teach Wisely

Oh Lord, in this new year may the prayer of my heart be constantly worked out in every situation and may my mouth be led by You and my heart be guided in Your paths so that I may effectively minister to those in my charge, both in Bright Lights and in BSF. When I don't know what to say put the words in my mouth. When I do know what to say put the words in my mouth. Whenever life happens put the words in my mouth.

13. Write Inspired

Some of you may not know this but one of my favorite pastimes is writing. I'm no literary giant or anything but I do like to jot down a story here or there or write up my thoughts on life and the universe on this blog and that is important to me. Whether writing fiction or fact, whether blogging or scrapbook journaling- to not put it down would almost be a crime!
So, I've actually been contemplating doing NaNoWrMo this year. For the uninitiated this is National Novel Writers Month and falls in November. Writers are challenged to complete an entire 50,000 word novel over the course of the month! I've been contemplating, and frankly, lusting after completing this challenge since I learned about it a good 10 to 15 years ago- and I think that this year might just be the year to give it a try!

Who wants to be my writing buddy and cheerleading team??!

14. Read Passionately

Ok, so I write a lot about the books I'm reading. It's my job and I love doing it but sometimes I just wanna do something different. Enter the Bethany House 2015 Reading Challenge! This morning I printed off a copy of this little bingo looking chart and added it to my pin board to keep track of and check off as I complete things like reading "One your best friend recommends", or "Is the beginning of a series", or "Is written by an author you've never heard of". I think it's going to be an exciting year of books! Do you have any suggestions on where I should start??

15. Follow the Money

This one should probably be pretty self explanatory. All too quickly the piper must be paid and this last year has often found me between Peter and Paul, crying over my pennies! This year it is my hope to record faithfully what I'm doing with the resources God provides me with-  and to make a real effort to begin setting aside some savings!

16. Gratefulness is Everything

The last two years I have been endeavoring to complete the Thousand Gifts joy/gratefulness dare and name three things every day that I am grateful for. I think that being grateful is one of the most important things we can do as Christians and that it does indeed change our perspectives on everything we set eye or hand to. One of my favorite quotes says:

"Feeling gratitude but not expressing it is like wrapping a present but not giving it." ~William Arthur Ward

That is what I have felt like these past two years as I come close to, but ultimately fail to record all the pent-up gratitude towards the Lord that He is so rightly due from my lips. Since I'm a person that always does better with a set plan and list to guide me, this year I have printed out the month by month guide to help me focus and think of the things that God is doing and blessing my life with. It's gonna be a cool year!

My Year at a Glance
Including: The Secret Garden coloring book and Prismacolor pencils,
CY365 prompts list, book challenge list, new Joni devotional,
the trusty ole iPad where writing gets done, photo journal and
Project Life cards for the 'special project' scrapbook,
gratefulness dare prompts and cute journal,
daily planner where all the crazy gets organized! 

So did you make it to the end of the list? Wow. It's a really long one- longer than I intended it to be but I assure you that in writing it I am solely preaching to myself. Preach, preach again. Write, re-write. Fail, do again. Repeat. Start fresh. I'm beginning to think that its the only way that we get through to ourselves, the only way God gets through to us. Simply a constant tap tap tap of the chisel and scrape scrape scrape of the grinding, finishing, polishing paper of life. Perhaps this year if I stand still against my measure God will get some work done on me and this time next year I'll be a little more ready to adventure out into the oncoming year, a little more ready for the new future ahead!

So where are you personally and spiritually as we enter 2015? Is there things you're looking back on and shouldn't? Things that you are really looking forward to happening this year? Things that you anticipate God doing in and through you? Drop me a note in the comments- I'd love to hear from you and hear your thoughts!